Tuesday, January 30, 2007

clocks

lights out. looks like reliance is getting back at us for all the sms
jokes we've sent to each other about them. >_<
we're too used to light. actually, everyone else is too used to light.
i don't mind the dark. i'm just too used to electricity. :) i love my
technology, and feel amputated without it. i wonder what it was like
before people thought of candles... /hmmm

Monday, January 29, 2007

Hero

"He died a hero"
A hero
That means nothing
He died
Everything

Give him no medals
Can you return a life?
Dreams fallen
Are not to be rebuilt
With empty honors

"His memory will live on"
As a name among too many
Remembered for his death
And not because
He lived

"A courageous soldier"
Reward for slaughter
And murder
That he did not choose
Yet committed?

Tell me no more lies
I will keep my memory
Of him intact
Untainted by war
And others' false glory

They know not who he was
Only who they
Desired him to be

What right do they have
To call him hero?

 

 

- I don't know who wrote this. But it's beautiful.

My evening today will not be written about here, but in a nutshell, I had fun~! fun~! fun~! fun~! fun~! fun~!  ^_^

@ you
If you really wanna know what's in my mind after this evening, just ask me. :)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Orange Sands and Purple Sunsets ....

I've been thinking a lot this evening... About my life, about my friends' lives... Two shots of espresso does that to me. I think about the kind of stuff they do for fun, and then I think about the kind of stuff I do for fun. Bottom line is, I'm a spendthrift.  I've grown up being accustomed to spending money for any kind of recreation I want, without too many second thoughts. They, on the other hand, end up eating most of my chocolate mousse. I don't really mind it. But it just made me think today... if I'm spending too much. I never had any such problem a bout a couple of years ago... but I guess that owes it's explanation mostly to the fact that most of my friends had that much money to spend near about every other day. Money really complicates things. Even when you don't want it to.

I remember this one time, I was out with a friend from school I hadn't met for quite some time. We ended up having an argument over Rs. 2 change from the bus ticket which neither had the change to split evenly. It was rather pointless, so I told him to keep it. He got offended, we talked about 5 minutes out of the way to find some shop that'll give him two Re. 1 coins in exchange for that single Rs. 2 coin, and only then did we go for the little reunion thing we were going to. Now, I don't think I was rude at all when the issue of the Rs. 2 coin came up. All I said when the conductor offered him the coin was, "You keep it". Then the guy starts goin on about how he could not, and how money is money. *sigh* I hate it when money complicates things. I don't bother too much about change with friends. My logic is, we're stuck together for about the next 2~3 years. So even if rahul does end up keepin 50 bucks of mine, there's gonna be other opportunities for him to pay for me. No big deal. I hate it when money complicates things.


This Image here for people who don't like reading stories without pictures. <_<

I've managed to gain a certain reputation amongst my friends for being able to "get the girls", as they put it. Dunno how that came to be. The best I can do is talk with them. Anything more than a decent friendship is totally beyond my skills. Being with Maya's made me realise that I totally suck at the actually courtship rituals that are supposed to happen before a girl starts liking me. Maybe I'm too shy. Maybe I'm too afraid. I think the afraid theory works out better. I've been hurt too much by my first crush. Once I'm actually goin out with a girl, it's all fine. I know what to do... the flowers, the movies, the walks, the talks, and the other not so public stuff... I know I'm good with all that. What bugs me is that I still can't decide how to go about actually seducing a girl, so to speak. Funny, innit? I got the most guts to actually go chat up strangers for the female kind, and I suck at maintaining a decent interesting conversation with most of them. Some said I don't have anything interesting to talk about. Some said that I don't have too much of interesting stuff to talk about. Some said that I talk too little. Some said that I don't talk sense most of the time. I guess all of it's true to some extent. I never could bring myself to do stuff most kids my age do. Never get much to talk about after that. And not too many girls appreciate pondering life as much as I do. And I don't really keep up with too much gossip of any kind to talk with them either. *sigh* frustration. 

Some nights, I stay up, thinking if I'd rather be popular than be myself. Popular as in the kind of person people enjoy talking to all the time. Sometimes, I think that translates to selling my soul. Maybe it is. I tried to do stuff most other kids did... I listened to the same kinda of music, I watched the half crappy Hindi movies, I tried to keep up with the sports, I tried to figure out what makes cars and speed so exciting. After about 3~4 months of toying around like this, I still don't get it. I'm just not built to appreciate the things they do, and I don't think most people appreciate the stuff I like. In the end, I go back to my trance, I go back to my books, I go back to my coffee, I go back to walking alone with my music, I go back to keeping weird preferences. They keep to their music, and their movies, and their gossip. And I have nothing to talk about with them again.

"What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate

Someone else to catch this drift

And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred..."

These lines in Alanis Morissete's Song what I really want. It's so profound. It made me think a lot about my life... I don't know how many people really have someone special in their lives. The proverbial soulmate. The person who knows what you're saying when you're not saying anything. I was lucky enough to have met my soulmate. Sad part was I had to let her go. To keep myself from getting hurt, more than anything else. But now, I want to have that kind of someone in my life. I hate not being able to talk to anyone about what's goin on in my head. Maybe that's why I'm blogging. Fine, it's a public blog, but then again, I'm not publishing anything scandalizing here. I think I can handle baring myself this much. :)

And if you think this is a bit too much, try and imagine what I'm not writing down here. :) I'm only as insecure as you think I am, right? ;)

Friday, January 26, 2007

make a wish

it's finally happening. i've started watching crappy movies without
any regrets. maybe it'll work out for the best. maybe i'll actually
understand what most people find so interesting in cras, mindless
movies. >_< the movie's suprisingly decent entertainment. ^_^

Hi! It's neha!

We had college Pulicity stuff today, again. Visited three colleges. One was like, totally empty. Everyone just runs off at like 11 am. >_<>_< 
*sigh* I had to keep telling myself that it's good our college makes me attend, coz it'll be helpful for me in the end. >_<
Next up was KJ somaiya's at sion. Nominal colection from there. A few minutes on the campus, and me, Rahul and Ishan were pulled out to go to KJ Vidhyavihar. Apprently, meghna and the others needed backup. <_<

It was tiresome. Fun, but tiresome. After we wound up the day's crap, we went to peter cook's for dinner. It's started and run by this chinese guy, and he serves simply the best decently priced chinese in mumbai. He's like run away from home or something... started from a cart on the road and everything... he's got his own place now. :) the food there is alwaysawesome. He makes everything there.... includeing the noodles. And those noodles are simply... fun! They're thin, flat, and totally nice to taste. :) I'd go there for noodles alone. :)

I had a little dilemma about dinner today.... meghna and pooja wer goin for pasta at Bombay Blue... and Rahul and Ishan were gonna go had chinese at Peter Cook's. I was kinda bored of Peter Cooks, and really wanted to have some pasta... but then again, I always feel awkward with meghna and pooja around. Not being too talkative kinda dulls the mood with those two. And I'm very "not too talkative." >_< In  the end, the chinese won. And also coz, as meghna very nicely pointed out, I'll have some company goin back home. :)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

the rule of the thumb.

whoever thought of the phrase? and what's it supposed to mean anyways?
do you find something special in my thumb? and what kind of feelings
does looking at it invoke in you? does it make you want to do
something? does it mean that you have to follow any and all rules i
make up? even ones that force you to treat me to a sandwich as a way
of greeting me instead of saying hi? very very confusing. this life...
>_<

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The dynamics of drooling doggies...

I have a pet dog. He's a darling. He's a three year old German shepherd. And VERY playful. At any time of the day or night, he'll be ready to play with you. Everytime I come back home, he's waitin for me at the door with a bone. If not a bone, then my slippers. As soon as I reach for it, he runs off upstairs to the terrace. Once he's convinced himself that it's playtime, there's absolutely no stopping him until someone throws his bone around for him a bit...
Once that's over and done with, he sits his royal ass on the sofa, and plops down like he's just finished running some some 20 mile marathon.


One thing that he does respond to, though, is cookies. Even if he's sleeping soundly upstairs, the slightest sound of a crinkling cookie wrapper makes him get up, and run towards the source of the sound. Once he sees someone with cookies, he parks himself in front of the person, sitting straight up at attention, looking at you with cute "feed me!" eyes, drooling all over the floors. Sometimes, I have to give him some of my cookies just to keep another flood from happening!

I tried to not give him cookies once. I found my slippers buried in the garden the next day. For a dumb dog, he's pretty smart.

All things said and done, once he's had a cookies, he's very agreeable for the rest of the day. He's then willing to listen to me and put up with my "don't run around the house" or "stop barking" or "Stop trying to drive the car" commands. :) Yep. Very agreeable. ^_^

should i stay or should i go? ...

day 1 of the publicity stunts. was posted to SP College of
engineering. sad turnout. noone wanted to come coz they had their own
cultural events happening on the same dates. i bumped into the
delicious zarmeen outside bhavan's. along with basil and swati and
shikha... it's nice meeting old friends. especially cute ones... which
reminds me... i wonder what Rajeel must be doing these days...
back to topic... the collection was decently good.
suprisingly, i'm not as tired as i expected to be. i'm thankful. right
now, i'm worried about where i'll be posted tomorrow. and more
importantly, with whom. rahul's on his merry way back home.
i guess i'll have to talk to pooja on my own. i hate having to talk to people. i'm no good at it.
most people don't even understand what i'm saying to them.
traffic jam at kandivali. it seems like it's been here since I came to college at 8:30 in the morning. >_<

I don't feel like makeing my blog post any more. >_<
G'nite.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Edward Scissorhands

 

"Kim: Then... why did you do it?
Edward: Because you asked me to."


 

I love that scene from the movie. Have you seen it? It's kiddies, I know, but I'm a sucker for fairy tales. Call me sappy, but I still have a tear in my eye in the end when Kim has to run away.

What is it about love stories that gets to me? Somehow, every sad ending makes me think of my own life, and even though I love a happily-ever-after, I love sad endings even more. Maybe it's coz those are the only kind I've seen in my life... 

AFAIK, none of my friends bother with companionship as much as I do. Atleast I don't think they do... Doesn't even matter in the long run.

Here's another wonderful scene from the movie.

"If he weren't up there now... I don't think it would be snowing."

Monday, January 22, 2007

Bionic Bong

Where have I heard this before?

The sound clip is from Eric Clapton's Layla.  But it's been ripped to be used in some hind song that goes like, "kya mujhe pyaar hai... ya... aisa.... >something something I suck at hindi<"

:P  Here's the clip, just the same. :) http://files.myopera.com/Unholy_Prophecy/files/layla.rar

My day was rather nice. Went over to zapak to clear up the formalities of me leaving. I have to leave now. I got 3 KTs. :(  I'm over Saturday's depression. That's when I'd got me results. Broke down somewhere along the way... It's all good now... :)

That Saturday, me and the guys went to churchgate to buy some GRE course material. I went on ahead early... I love bein near kala ghoda... I bumped into a couple of friends from KC college and had breakfast with them at Barista. Just as they were leaving, I get a call from Ishan, askin about my whereabouts. Having told him as much, and his assurance that they'd be there at churchgate by 2:00 PM, I made plans to walk around tardeo until 2:30 PM. :) I know my friends too well. XD

I visited a couple of art galleries nearby... It's been a long time since I've pretended to like art... not too many opportuinities to develop some non microbial culture near my college. :( That being done, I walked past Gateway of India... Spent a few minutes by the sea, reminscing on memories at the place... :) After that, I headed back to churchgate. Stopped by Jehangir Art Gallery along the way. One of the artists displayed there... (bah! I forgot his name... I knew I should have made this blog entry on Sunday itself. >_< ) Anyways... his stuff was wonderful. It was oil paints, mostly landscapes, rendered in small, but discrete brush strokes. It looked good from near, as well as from afar.

I went to churchgate station after that. I was hoping my friends would have arrived by then, but I guess I still underestimated them. :) I waited at the entrance of Eros until they came, at 3:00 PM.

As soon as everyone was assembled, we began the great book hunt Ishan all brought us to the other side of town for. A few minutes of chatting with him led me to the conclusion, the he's looking for the street side book sellers that had been evicted more than 2 years ago. XD I managed to find a couple of bookshops to buy our books from, mostly to keep Ishan from dying at the hands of Meenakshi and Meghna before he could hand over a copy of Windows Vista to me. :)

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

The gang outside Jehangir Art Gallery. ^_^

 

To cut a long story short, vitesh, ravi and shiv left us half way... the remaining 5 of us eventually found a few books, and finally settled down to answer the most important question ever thought of by any living person.

*drum roll....*

"Where do we eat?"

We thought of Gaylord's, but the menu wasn't exactly to Meenakshi's satisfaction, so we settled on Garcia's. We ordered three pizzas, And just as I was about to bite into my first piece, Meghna got word of the results. I ate a bit. After my stomach finally gave away, I quit it. The ride back home was rather... weird. I've never ever been bothered by my marks. I usually never care. But this time around, it really hit me. Hope it's enough to get me to study. >_<

We went college first. To confirm and check the marks. Not like it was gonna change anything. Whatever. Those few hours are still a bit woozy for me... Don't even remember half of the crap that was going through my head at the time. One thing I do remember distinctly is Meenakshi trying to console me... I'm still ashamed to be weeping in front of my friends. I usually don't like public displays of my emotions. Certainly not ones that leave me vulnerable. But the one time that I was, I'm glad I was with my friends... Rahul, Meenakshi, Meghna, and Ishan. Sometimes I wonder what I'd do without them. I don't even know how much they all like me back. Well... the guys, I know they like me for me. The girls are always a tricky issue. Girls are always a tricky issue. >_< And despite what people say about me, I don't have some secret to understanding girls. Hell... I probably work myself up more than most other guys... thinking too much about what to do and how to do it. >_< Enough self introspection for this paragraph.

As everyone went home, I decided to walk for a bit. Ended up walking all the way back home from college. That was a good 2 hours, at a brisk pace. I estimate it to be about 7~8 kilometers. I had a little chat with Shivaji. I don't know why.. but I called him up. Out of all the people in the world, I guess I some how thought he could make me feel better. And he did. It's nice to know I have friends I can depends on sometimes. I usually try to do things by myself and stuff... but sometimes, I just need some support. I'm glad Shivaji's there for me. :) It was just kinda strange even then, to know that out of all my friends in college, my family, and even my call up once in a month kinda acquaintances/friends, I've always been comfortable talking and associating with older people. Maya used to say I've got a grown up brain in a kid's body. Dunno. I don't think about it any more.... too pointless.

Well.. I walked... And I walked... And I walked... I walked till I thought my feet were gonna fall off. The idea was to walk so much that I was too tired to do anything but sleep when I got back home... sad part is that I had so much coffee that morning, that I wasn't sleepy when I got back home. So at the end of the day, I'm back at home, even after a hot bath, lying down in my bed, I still can't fall asleep. What's worse was that my feet really felt like that they were falling off. >_< I made do until I fell asleep. Now that was when the really messy images began.

I rarely dream, but when I do, I do so with unimaginable clarity and absurdness that it even scares me sometimes... I remember starting off in a spot of light, kinda like a Broadway stage... and slowly the light began expanding, and the entire stark white stage slowly transformed into a beautiful vista of some obscure island in some uncharted corner of the globe... Complete with exotic birds and waterfalls and steam rising above the canopy and everything. :) It was awesome...

:snap:

I'm flying through the night sky... beside a flock of beautiful Cygnus Swans. I rode in their wake. I danced with them... playing their games with the clouds... It was beautiful. I thought I glimpsed someone else flying in the distance, but I couldn't make out who. I saw a lot of her during the rest of my dream.

:snap:

I'm climbing a mountain. Not a mount Everest type climb. Just a mountain with a nice path.. with brown dirt and a few flowers growing in little clusters... like they're banding together against the harsh sun on the mountains... And along the way, there was a little grove. I dunno how, but it was there. I guess that's why it was a dream. It was magical... with little birds chirping around, and butterflies frolicking about amidst the blues and greens and reds in the bushes... amidst all that wonder, the sweet smell of an apple orchard wafted into the scene. I looked around, and there she was again. But before I could go to her...

:snap:

This time, I'm dressed in a white tuxedo, flippers, and snorkeling gear. And beside me, is a beautiful mermaid, with an emerald green tail, and hair laced with beautiful corals and shiny shells. We were swimming into the sunset with a pod of dolphins. We swam through the sunken remains of a pirate ship... we talked with other fish in the sea. It was eventually time to go, and I realised I still didn't know what my mermaid looked like. Yeah... it was the same girl. I saw her clearly for the first time... She had gorgeous brown eyes, cute button nose, full lips, nicely shaped eyebrows... Her lustrous black hair, with all it's ornamental shells and corals, cascaded down in waves down her bosom. A narrow, slender waist, that led to a gorgeous fish tail. It was a beautiful emerald green that reflected some of the sun that filtered down to the depths from the surface... Almost like it was ornamental itself...  And then, she swam away.>_<

:snap:

This time, I'm playin a game of checkers with the girl. We're sitting on top of a branch of some old oak tree, with a large full moon in the back, and fireflies buzzing around, giving off a faint, unearthly glow... I looked up from the playing board... she was looking at me, with a smile... A smile that seemed to mock my stupidness at ever being enchanted by this goddess... I made my move. There was a slight sadness that crept into her eyes for just an instant. She made a move, and vanished like the mist in the morning sun of a new June day. I looked back at the board to find that she'd just won the game.

:snap:

This time, we're walking hand in hand, in a garden. It's a secret garden. We're like little kids, running hand in hand through the cherry trees, the over grown mango orchards, the long abandoned vineyards... Through the field of petunias... Running because it was just so much fun... She looked at me. I turned to look at her. She gave me a sad smile and the next thing I knew, she turned into a bunch of blue butterflies that flew away from me...

:snap:

I was in bed. With her. My ceiling is missing. We're looking at the stars. We're naming constellations. Pretending to be Adam and Eve, naming the stars for the first time... We enjoyed it... a few jokes here... a bit of cuddling under the moonlight... But I sensed a certain sadness... (or was it fear?) in those gorgeous brown eyes. I ignored it... As soon as we were done naming all the constellations, I looked at her. I saw her smile, but there was a tear in her eye. And she disappeared. Vanished, as always. Vanished like she didn't belong there in my arms.

:snap:

We were in the air... falling... holding hands... she was looking at me.. hopefully... I didn't know what she wanted. I smiled at her, coz she was there with me. The ground was coming up faster and faster. She gave me that look again, that sadness filled stare... or was it regret now? The next moment she's gone, and I greet the ground face first.

:snap:

I fall into a bed. Someone screams. That someone hits me with a pillow. And again. And again. And again. I roll out of the bed, onto the floor. That hurt. I looked over the edge of the bed. I see a semi clothed body, dressed in splashes of pink and white. Then, I see her face. There's a look of recognition on her's, too. Seeing me, she gave out a frustrated sigh. She dropped the pillow, sat down on the bed, cross legged, and closed her eyes.

:snap:

I woke up in my own bed. Or rather, I felt that I fell into it. I woke up.

As always, it was one weird dream... I still don't get why I kept losing her in the end... maybe it's just my subconscious telling me that I should just speak up and stop worrying about letting myself trust anyone enough to have fun with them... Whatever be the case, I'm not gonna stop thinking about this dream for a long time now.

I was contemplating posting the girl's name here, but by the end of it, I convinced myself otherwise. I'm not embarrassed by it. I don't think she would be either. She's smart enough to know that dreams aren't literal in any way. At least I think she is. >_< What I am worried about, is people we know reading this post, and making life hell for us, if not her at the least.

P.S. If you're reading this, and think I'm talking about you, ask me. I'll tell you truthfully if I dreamt of you.

Three Butter Chicken...


Ishan - Do you see something?



Meenakshi - I don't like the teacher.



Ankit & Meghna - How're you doin?



Meenakshi, Rohan, Shiv - Hey there!


Rahul - I know where Mihir hides his cookies! /gg




what is it about lectures that turns even my most favorite topic turn
into something that makes me want to rip my eyes out of their sockets,
and stuff my ears with molten wax while i'm at it... >_< it's gonna be
tough learning to study again... :(


this is me and my friends between classes. happy bunch, right? not for
long... i think i hear the next professor approaching the classroom.
>_<

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Go figure. >_<

This was about a month ago... i was waking along the road, when i
overheard a girl talking on the phone, in a rickshaw. The rickshaw
went by rather fast, but not before i heard one very out of context
line... "... Darling, let me be the girl in this relationship for a
while..."
I'd love to know what THAT particular conversation was all about. :-D

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Wars are ebil

Why there are wars...


All wars are fought because of women. Not that they actually do the warring

bit, but if any war is started, there's usually a women somewhere in the mind

of the person who's waging the war... The Trojan war... was fought for the

beautiful Helen. The huge battle of Ram v/s Ravan was fought for Sita. The

Iraq war was fought so that the Politicians could get more money to spend on

their wives and mistresses... So in the end, it's all about women.

Everyone's looking to get laid here. There's so much of conflict just coz

some testosterone pumped up guy's feelin too horny and decides to push the

shiny red button that, co-incidentally, happens to launch a full scale

nuclear attack on the nearest third world country. >_<

Everyone's looking to get laid. The world would be such a better place if

someone could figure out a good replacement for sex. And I'm not talking

about vibrating toys. :P I'm talking about, maybe, an android that can

imitate a human in all it's entirety. :) Kinky? Naah... Just hopeful.

Imagine a world without wars. Then I suppose everyone will take time out to

actually read my world shattering essays on how to make the world better.

But then again, I suppose that the world will already be a better place, so

maybe I'll be romanticizing the old days when there was all kinds of blood,

gore, and theft, and arson and what nots. Maybe I'll open an amusement park

of brutality, and make millions and live like a stinking rich bastard,

filling my life with cookies, and marshmallows, and semi clothed women.

Hopefully together. >_<

I gtg now. I have an early Therapy Session tomorrow morning. :)

Friday, January 19, 2007

Barbie's Letter to Ken

When Ken and Barbie decide to call it quits, it shattered the hearts of millions of devoted fans (notice how I said 'devoted' and not 'particularly bright'). But most painful of all, no real explanation was given. However, while rooting through the dumpster behind Barbie's Dreamhouse, I discovered...

Dear Ken,

It's over. After 43 years of waiting for you to commit, I realised that I wasn't getting any younger. Of course, I'm not getting any older, either. But I think we need to see other dolls and action figures. It's time to play the Field.

Since we started dating, I've been a fashion designer, an astronaut, an animal doctor, a rock singer, an actress, a singer, a painter, a firefighter, a ballerina, a paleontologist, a pilot, a marine, a lifeguard, a dentist, a stewardess, a sales clerk, and a candidate for president. What have you ever done?

Being a plastic boy toy is no way to spend a life, Ken. It's time for you to get real.

I still remember the night I came home early to our Hot Tub and bathworks playlet, and found you there, naked, with G.I.Joe. You said it was innocent, that you'd only stripped off each other's clothes because some kid drew all over them in purple magic marker. And I took a chance and believed you. After all, neither one of you have a shween. But I had doubts.

Then, after I found a pair of raggedy panties inside the glove compartment of your fun time convertible, I had some major life decisions to make. Decisions even harder than "strawberry lip gloss or neon?"

And I came to realise that I have some self esteem issues. I'm famous, I'm rich, I'm an icon, and I still can't get a marriage proposal out of you after 40 years. Who do you think I am? Oprah? A girl can only stare at her disco lamp, her slide 'n splash pool, her karate kit with carrying case, and her other 43,000 possessions for so long.

We've grown apart. You've always treated me like I'm some kind of interchangeable bimbo, as if there are a billion other dolls out there just like me. Haven't I always maintained my 49-7-28 figure? Or am I just some kind of hollow plaything? How I've longed to hear those three little words from you, Ken, and I don't mean "no assembly required."

I need some shelf space. I feel like I'm suffocating inside a small cardboard box. I'm in pain, Ken, and not just from the same blank expression since 1961. I still have fake feelings for you. My love once burned brightly as the 3 watt bulb in my oven. This breakup doesn't have to be forever. After we've had some time to think, after we've discovered where our lives are headed, and especially after the marketing department of Mattel milks the everloving piss out of this, we'll get back together. Probably just in time for the holiday season.

Party on,

Barbie.

Childhood Dreams

 

Feel displaced in the world? Feel like you never belong where you are? Feel like you're not where you're supposed to be? Feel like your peers put up with you only coz you're there? Feel like you'd rather be somewhere far away, with someone who'd pay attention to what you're saying? Feel like jumping off a cliff to see if Bob loves you enough to give you wings? Ever wanted to run away from your group, coz you're just in the group... not a part of it? Feel like shutting off the world, coz you think it's shut you off? Feel frustrated at the thought of suggesting something to do, just coz you know noone's gonna want to do it? Feel like not smiling all those fake smiles no more, coz what's the point in it anyways?

*sigh*

[quote]It's always one step too far.[/quote]

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Pile of Stones

I was sitting in the IME (That's like industrial marketing and engineering something ... maybe the E is economics... I dunnoo.... ) Anyway's... I was sitting in class with a bottle of Garner Fructis and some paper soap in the desk.

Why? Just coz I could. The teacher didn't say anything about it for a while. Finally, after the lecture was over, she walked up to my desk and asked me what that was all about. >_<

I made up some story about how I wanted to take it home and it was in my bag, but it was leaking, and I was keepin it out in the air conditioning to let it dry and maybe then the crack would get sealed. The teacher walked away confused after a couple of sentences. Apparently, most teachers prefer to not listen to me, rather than ask clarifications about anything I said. I'm supposed to have a weird accent. :)

In other news, It was Mr. Ajikya aka Tom Shitole's birthday. In other news, I have no other news. Cept for the fact that I am not a pile of stones, despite all appearances, and at night, I turn into a schizophrenic cookie seeking monster. :)

The truth is, Thakur's got so much of money this time with the admissions, that they're turning the entire college into one big bathroom. That's why I got the shampoo, as a gag. I swear! It's all tiles everywhere! If that wasn't enough, they've decided to erect 12 of these "Thakur Lingams" as we call them, right at the entrance. >_<

 

They aren't even spending our money on us. :(

On the bright side, I'm still happy with life. :)

Cheers! ^_^

Mnahmnah!

MnahMnah!

Remember kermit the frog?

I did. Last night. I also remembered a certain song I'd heard. Took me about 10 minutes of searching to find it.

Have a looksee ^_^

 Mnahmnah! Du-doo-du-du-du!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Fix You

Originally posted on Aug 30 2006, 09:06 PM at Keep away from the Cyanide


I'm happy again biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

Exams got over smile.gif

Had fun with frinds.

Very much funs with good movie. I liked it, atleast. Adam sandler's click. I want universal remote. ro_emote_wah.gif

Oh well.. I think i'll stick with liveing life at one seconds per second. ro_emote_heh.gif



Comments:


Congo for the happiness :3
And Remember:
QUOTE
Keep Away From The Cyanide™


~ HellRebel

P.S. Bah, felt like jumping off a building the other day... dry.gif
- HellRebel


I still feel like jumping off a building. dry.gif
- BrainDead

We Are One Tonight....

Originally posted on Aug 5 2006, (sometime I don't remember) at Keep away from the Cyanide


This letter's addressed to a certain someone I'd been with today... She'll know it when she reads it. The rest of you, who can't understand what I'm talkin about, dont bother spamming here. I can just as easily delete it. Never thought I'd be deelting stuff from here... but I guess extreme situations call for extreme measures.

If any of you are lookin for insights on how marriage, or any relationship, for that matter... is supposed to work (in my humble opinion, of course...) then read on.

@ you,

This is the stuff I can't say to your face...

Please think carefully about your life before you do anything serious... Marriage is not something you're supposed to do when you're 24, or 26, or 35 or whenever... You get married when you're both ready for it, and understand each other enough to live with each other, knowing that the other person has his own history and life... you can't expect to work a relationship that's all about what one person wants to do all the time... You can't live with someone who expects you to do his every bidding. A small supposed "compromise" on his part is no trade-off for what you were thinking of sacrificing today... It's called scamming here... you're being shortchanged.

Keeping constant tabs on you? especially ones you're supposed to furnish for HIS convenience?? What the hell kind of logic is it? You need his permission to go take a shower now? Why do you have to tell someone you wanna go spend time with your friends? Why does he have to demand proof for the fact that you were, infact, spending time with your friends? Bah... It's all screwed up. You know it as well as I do.

If someone can't accept the fact that you have more people in your life than him, does that give him the right to start making it such that you really don't have any more people in your life other than him? You know that you need your friends, even if he doesnt. Nothing can justify him not letting you have friends. NOTHING.

Please take care of yourself. Keep yourself happy. Not him. Not me. It's you who is important. If you don't look out for yourself, who will? It's up to him to stay happy. You should look out for yourself more often. Don't just stick with him coz he's all you know of. From my point of view, he's made sure of that. If he's so insecure that he has to keep you from staying in touch with new people, just so that you don't find someone better that him (which will be a lot, mind you.. A LOT of people) ... well... that's just plain ridicculous. You deserve better than him and you know it...

If he's not willing to learn from his mistakes, you shoudl either give him time, or go as far away from him as you can so that he can't hurt you again.

Think about what you want to do with your life. He's not the end of the world. Neither am I. Nor is your family. At the end of the day, you go to bed with your own misery. Make yourself happy. Study hard, get a good job. Become independent enough to not feel the need to settle for anything less than what you really want.
And for heaven's sake, THINK about what you REALLY want! I can't say that enough. Not what you're expected to want by your family and society in general. Do what really makes you happy.


Today was very wierd for me. I mean this in a very literal way... I'm not religious. I don't have any affinity for organised religion and stuff that's done without any understanding of the reasons/principles behind it. My God is a being/thing/whatever that's just there... I can't even begin to tell you about it.
But today... For like the 3rd or 4th time... I was really praying like I meant it. I was praying that He grant you the courage and the insight to do what is right for you. I don't know what it is. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. To hell with other's feelings. Even if it meant that we never saw eachother again... The knowledge that you'd be happy was the only reason why I seemed so willing to give up to him without a fight.

You know how to reach me.

May Bob take good care of you.



Always yours, no matter what,
- taurius1



Comments:

Dude, is everything alright? blink.gif
- BrainDead


taurius chill man and best of luck 2 da girl wid a sadass bf ro_emote_no1.gif
- mediocre


The Cult - Painted on my heart
- tito


What's with that song?
- taurius1


Taurus u r the man..have faith in god everything might get well soon...keep it up... ro_emote_no1.gif
- Thirsty-Vampire


Do send her the link to this page Mihir...

Youll make it through.
- Hercules


lissn to it DUH~ tongue.gif
- tito


She knows enough to come here.
- taurius1


.....an..i...thought...my....situation was....bad...
- Nangubacha!!


Nah mines much worse...





Well im the sada$$ who wanted challanges in life.

Life was like... you want some? come get some....ro_emote_gg.gif
- Hercules


Someone had said to me that Love is exception-making. [/size][/size]
- xmedusax


I know it is... that's why it's so crazy. happy.gif
- taurius1

I Don't Wanna Stop

Originally posted on Jul 11 2006, 01:47 AM at Keep away from the Cyanide


I don't feel like posting about my weeked.

I don't want it public. >_<


yeah... it's about some serious wub wub


@ Jag

/e4



Comments:

THAT was EEEEeeeeeeebbbiiiillllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mad.gif
- jaguarnac


BTW,
Congratulations
/e11 ro_emote_no1.gif
happy.gif
happy.gif hav good wubwub happy.gif me friend

This post has been edited by jaguarnac: Jul 14 2006, 12:21 AM
- jaguarnac


If you watch Baa Bahu Aur Baby,

Hmm..Hmm.....HHmmmm....HHHHmmmmmmmm....HHmmmmmmmmmm
- Rude 'sin

Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels

Originally posted on Jul 3 2006, 12:15 AM at Keep away from the Cyanide


Family outings are fun. happy.gif It usually means loads of laughs, and fun, and food. Expecially the food. Here's what I ate today.

2 servings of gelato, a chicken and turkey ham footlong from Subway, a baskin robins icecream cone, sheek kebab from kailash parbat, a couple of franks from sloppy joe's, and a couple of brany snaps from cookie man. happy.gif


Good, no? I know. smile.gif The movie Phir Hera Pheri sucked big time. It's a copy of Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Only difference being that the former is a comedy, while the origial is an action movie. smile.gif A very good one at that. smile.gif The only thing that facinated me during the movie is how bipasha's top enver quite rode up, given the amount she was running, with the heaving breasts bouncing their merry selves. Then I figured it out. The top was pinned down from the back. dry.gif Bipasha's lookiing nice, young and hot, with her new hair do, and the loss of a few kilos. smile.gif Yess... me slave to media portrayal of anorexic women. But I'm nto complaining. tongue.gif


Have to sleep now. I've very sadly enough missed talkin to someone onlone today.. missed eachother by like 20 minutes... dry.gif It's frustrating.



Comments:


0Ooh,.,.bouncy
- George WTF Bush


Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
- jaguarnac


d
- jaguarnac


To quote Jag...
Fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!
- BrainDead

The Music's No Good Without You

Originally posted on Jun 28 2006, 12:12 AM at Keep away from the Cyanide


The music's really no good without you.... :(

That is for a certain someone who I was unable to meet in pune. Now that that is out of my system, let's talk about my day, well.. it was fun...
I went to pune, as I've very conveniently spammed about in two places on the forums :P Yet, I didn't meet anyone but seed. :(

We left at 8:30 in the morning. Me and 6 others family members. We were supposed to leave at 7:00 am, but knowing my family, we always leave late. :) We went via aarey milk colony road... It was suposed to cave us tie, but as it happened, there were traffic jams in a couple of places... we ended up reaching the place at like 1:30 pm. :) The pooja that we were supposed to go for ended by then. (In under an hour, if my cousin and her new inlaws are to be belived... :ph34r:

The drive was fun... the mumbai pune expressway looks awesome in the rains, with all the green and the smell of rains in soil.... you can imagine... At one point of the ride, amidst the mountains, it was so cloudy that visibility was reduced to less than 15 feet in front of us!! But it was awesome... we took a video of that. I'll post it here if I feel like it. :)

So anyways, we got there, and we had lunch, and then I excused my self and left at like 3:30 pm. I bought a bus ticket for a ride back to mumbai... My mom was leaving for Mumbai right at 4:00 pm. I was gonna come after meeting seed, atleast. :)

I did meet him. He was wating at the FC road cafe, while I was at the one near the National Film Archive. He got there by like 4:00 pm. :) We had a little chat for about an hour over a couple of mocha frappes. :) then he left for classes :) I went back to my cousin's place, which is incedentally only a few buildings away from anik8's place. ^_^ Anik8 is in mumbai, apprently. <_<

After all that was over, I went to the pick up point for Neeeta travels Volvo. :) I was gonan leave by the 6:10 bus. I saw a bus pull in at like 6:00 pm. I go into it. the guy in the bus checked my ticket and let me in. After I heard him and the driver talk a lot about metrolink's new shedules, I got worried that I wasn't in a Neeta Travels Bus. I wasn't. <_< The bus driver dropped me off at another pick up point, and I caught the next Neeta Volvo to mumbai. Problem being that this one was goin to dadar. I was originally plannign to go to borivali. I was too pissed at myself for getting lost in Pune too and sat in that bus to keep myself from getting bored wating for the next Borivali bus.

I got into the bus. Found a nice place by the window, in front of a couple of hot chicks talking about how tiring it was for one of them to manage two boyfriends at a time. /swt Go figure. They were a fun bunch to chat with... we started talking out of our common hatred for the movie Bluffmaster that was playing in the bus. Taking that wrong bus no longer seems so bad now, does it? ;)

The bus made two snacks stops between Pune and Mumbai. I didn't eat much. I'd already had coffee with seed. So I wasnt hungry. I still shared some biscuits with the girls. >_< *sigh* the things men have to do for girls... :shakes head in sadness: Before I was talkin with them, I spent most of the time playing my music at full volume and singing at the top of my head to blck out the sounds from the movie. >_<

I came back to dadar, needing to pee real bad, so I was walking along until Dadar TT circle, in hopes of finding a restaurant with a loo. No such thing happened. Instead, three people call me up at the same time. First was my cousin Kookie, who was also in dadar. I hitched a ride with him till his place, coz 11:00 pm is too late a time to head back to dahisar. Next was our dear admin Hatori Hanso, asking about game testing tomorrow... (I guess I should call it today now... :P) Some new one on one fighing game. I'll be goin there tomorrow. :) I think I'll call it tomorrow until I go to sleep. It's much more clear in my head that way.

So here I am, at the end of the day, another nice, wonderful, well spent beautiful day, thinking to myself,

Life's Beautiful~*


I'll catch you guys here later. I think I'll go to sleep now. ^_^

Good night. And may the farce be with you.



Oh yeah. Narci's a noob. :)



Comments:

Was testing fun?
- Hercules


man taurius, i read the forum post of u comin to pune today only sad.gif
i didnt even knew u were here sad.gif
soweeeee
- jaguarnac


Oh yes, testing bery bery phun. happy.gif
- taurius1


game testing??
wat did joo test
- jaguarnac

Cruel Intentions

Originally posted on Jun 26 2006, 12:16 PM at Keep away from the Cyanide


Wow! Been a rather hectic week... It's been like a week since I've been online.

My cousin got married last week... I'd been running around helping with stuff... Somehow, I don't even want to talk about it now... it's been liek such a blur... there was the pooja... then there was the haldi ceremony... then the sangeet... then the actual wedding... then the reception... then the cocktail party... ro_emote_pif.giff

Like I said... hectic. smile.gif

Had two suits and a sherwani made for the event... It was fun... Uncomfortable and unbearably hot, but fun. smile.gif My cousin's frind was here for the weddin from Canada. Spent most of my time with her, escorting her around Mumbai. She's fun to be with.

I made a few frinds from dubai there... so the next time I'm there, I'll hopefully have someone to hang out with... smile.gif Lets see what works out.


I got a cold. >_<




Comments:

Wooootageee!!!

My frienddd is bakkkkk!!!
Weeeeeeeee
AM soooooooooo happyyyyyy

I hav been lookin all over teh net for joo!!!
- jaguarnac


Heh. I missed you too. happy.gif
- taurius1

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