Thursday, April 26, 2007
morsel of food they can find into their mouths before anyone else
does. >_< Erm... before i bitch about them about that, lemme bitch
about them another way. this is roughly what happened. the girls
declare a party to celebrate something noone's yet sure of. apparently
everyone chips in. i arrive at the scene, double the food fund,
everyone orders. i don't get my apple juice, everyone's done with lunch. and as usual everyone disperses. >_< no
"that was fun" or "thank you for lunch" or anything! i had to squeeze
out a goodbye out of most everyone. >_< really pissed me off, that.
even the worst dates I've been on have ended with an appreciation for
my buying lunch or whatever.
what sucked even more was that i didn't get my apple juice. T_T not
much place for me over there with 3 heads fighting for room enough to be able to sip something from the straws stuck into that tiny
thing. >_< bleh. last time i'm sponsoring so much food for them. <_<
I'm done bitching. I'm safely back at home, and sipping on a lytchee cremosa. :)
Monday, April 23, 2007
This is what sleep deprivation did to me last time. >_< I'm taurius1.
taurius1 i hate people who dont call up when they say they would. >_<
taurius1 which kinda includes most of the friends i know personally. >_<
krystal-chan i hate ppl who dont call up for weeks more
taurius1 im kinda used to it
taurius1 i stopped expecting my friends to keep in toch
krystal-chan weeks i ask you
DarkAlchemist I don't really have many friends
DarkAlchemist And those i do i have like hardly any of their phone numbers
taurius1 for some wierd reason, none ever feels like calling me up to check up on me or whatever >_<
krystal-chan i get death threats if i dnt cal up or retunr calls in a day
taurius1 oh well.. their loss.
krystal-chan which i do mostly
DarkAlchemist But you see no-one ever calls me or texts me or wants me to call or text either
taurius1 happens, DA
taurius1 don't let it get to your head >_<
krystal-chan ...you donot want ur best bud from college yelling ta the other end of the phone at work
DarkAlchemist Unless they need pc help
krystal-chan thats all i hve to say
taurius1 @ DA i know what you mean
DarkAlchemist I have two friends who want me for my pc expertise
krystal-chan but it has itsdownside
taurius1 applauds as krys takes her seat
-> Hito has joined animestan
DarkAlchemist as in want me to sort out their pcs cos a) they are too dumb b) too lazy c) both
taurius1 really what? and what has it's downsides?
DarkAlchemist and they are both guys
krystal-chan really they call you for pc help
DarkAlchemist that's the downside
taurius1 wel... leave them as they are for a while.
Legato sets user mode +v: Hito may now speak if the room is moderated
taurius1 go find something else to do <_<
krystal-chan downsides - ur friend will call up to tell you ur ex is now roaming around with the class slut
DarkAlchemist Problem is I have nothing else to do
taurius1 i stopped helpin people who don't need me for anything else. >_<
krystal-chan its not smthing u want to hear on a monday morning
DarkAlchemist lol krys
taurius1 @ Krys cheer up. we're here for you
krystal-chan its their way of "helping you move on"
DarkAlchemist I've never really had a gf so I don't really know what to say about that happening
krystal-chan hope it never happens to you
taurius1 most kids in the college i go to are too scared of hooking up with anyone, so that kind of thing doesnt happen to me any more >_<
DarkAlchemist well i don't care
krystal-chan becoz even though its no fault of ours, you end up feeling like a worm
DarkAlchemist if i break up
DarkAlchemist it's over
taurius1 DA.. when you've invested your emotions in someone... caring for them and stuff...
taurius1 there's no way you can simply declare that "it's over"
DarkAlchemist (krystal-chan): he obviously went to the class slut for easier sex which means he sucks as a guy
krystal-chan it takes time
taurius1 you're probably gonna think of it for as long as you live.
krystal-chan DA: i know. but it still hurts
krystal-chan tauri: nah
krystal-chan im over it
taurius1 unless you develop some psychopathic mental block
krystal-chan it took me one whole year to acually get past him
krystal-chan but im srsly thru with itnow
taurius1 getting over someone is fine
DarkAlchemist If I did that with every bad experience I would be stuck in my room needing psychiatric help
taurius1 but you never reach a point when you totally forget someone
<- sl33py has disconnected (Quit: :[)
taurius1 @ DA. i manage without the psychiatric help
krystal-chan tauri: yes but you do manage to put them away
taurius1 i do
DarkAlchemist You will never totally forget the bad but I manage to block it out most of the time
krystal-chan i mean there's a time when you can listen to öur"song again without breaking down
taurius1 it took me 4~5 years to get over me 1st crush
taurius1 the next time, i was better prepared >_<
taurius1 oh yeah..
taurius1 the song..
krystal-chan yuss the song
taurius1 i still dont have the courage to listen to it
krystal-chan the song is what kills you
taurius1 even after 6 years. >_<
krystal-chan the song is the measure of how over you are
taurius1 it's lying in some corner of my PC
taurius1 away from where my media sniffer can find it
DarkAlchemist I suppose I should be happy this hasn't happened to me so far
taurius1 so it doesnt accidentally play
taurius1 @ DA not relaly
krystal-chan hugles tauri
taurius1 it's fun caring for someone, and having someone to care for you
krystal-chan DA: its intoxicating
taurius1 for the good times and the bad
taurius1 huggles krys back
krystal-chan even while ure feeling like shit
krystal-chan you enjoy it
DarkAlchemist I guess
krystal-chan sounds masochist but its not
krystal-chan its just silly
taurius1 its not masochistic.
Hito ok wtf?
krystal-chan oh gawd im getting all mush-gushy
taurius1 hey Hito
taurius1 you finally speak!
Hito I enjoy a good emo once in a while
taurius1 had a good time? *winks*
krystal-chan aLanguage paduan
krystal-chan oh fuck
krystal-chan i need to sleep
krystal-chan gotta wake up early
taurius1 good night, krys.
taurius1 happy shopping
krystal-chan well gnite gentlemen
Hito sleep is for pussies
taurius1 stay awake now
taurius1 sleep when you're dead!
Hito bye pussy
krystal-chan thus spoke the uber -CUTE hito-CHAN
Hito damm u
taurius1 huhu :E
DarkAlchemist so hito what brings you here?
taurius1 he was taking care of business
Hito as usual
krystal-chan he came so you could admire his fluffy cuteness
taurius1 brings Htio his Bunny Slippers and Bubble Pipe
krystal-chan ne hito-CHAN
krystal-chan ties a pink sash arounf Hito-chan's neck
krystal-chan you look ADORABLE
DarkAlchemist is he that cute?
taurius1 tries not to giggle too much
Hito damm u all
krystal-chan i can safely say hes even cuter than DD
Hito I AM MANLY!!
taurius1 so says the man dresses in pink
deathdemon hito is a man?
krystal-chan there there Hito-CHAn
taurius1 all you need now is a towl wraped on your head after your shower
krystal-chan Be careful! you might soil ur booties
taurius1 not booties... bunny slippers!
Hito I hate u all so very much
taurius1 @ Hito we love you too
Hito But I hate you
krystal-chan His royal Cuteness is feeling a bit cranky
krystal-chan DD: what shall we do?
DarkAlchemist Hito link me to a pic of you
deathdemon how about we call him cute to cheer him up?
DarkAlchemist I need to see if he really is cute
krystal-chan deathdemon: you're ABSOLUTELY right
<- krystal-chan was kicked from animestan by Legato (Reason: Turn caps lock OFF!)
-> krystal-chan has joined animestan
Legato sets user mode +v: krystal-chan may now speak if the room is moderated
Hito this does not bother me anymore
krystal-chan rechristens Hito-chan as Cutey-chan
Hito so u can go to hell
Hito does not bother me
Hito at all
krystal-chan Kawaii Kawaii cutey-chan!
deathdemon cuety cutey cutey chan!!
krystal-chan lovely lovely cutey-CHAN!!!
deathdemon kawaii kawaii cutey chaan!
Hito u bored people u
krystal-chan pink pink Cutey-chan!
deathdemon slaps bunny ears on hito
DarkAlchemist So where is the female cutey for the chan
krystal-chan presents Hito-chan
krystal-chan what do you mean 'where'?
deathdemon AWWWWW.... cho chweeeeet
krystal-chan the Chan cutey is right here
Hito I am a female now
krystal-chan points at hito-chan
taurius1 i got the perfect theme song for Hito
DarkAlchemist it's ok hito chan covers both bases
Hito why the fuck are u doing this
krystal-chan cos ure soooooooooooooooo kawaii
krystal-chan pulls Hito-chan's cheeks
taurius1 o/~ you're my honey bun, sugar puff, cumpy-umpy-yumpkin...
krystal-chan you cutey-chan you!
deathdemon wait,why ARE we doing this?
taurius1 gags DD
deathdemon did he upload a pic or something?
krystal-chan deathdemon: cos we feel like it
Hito I did nothing
deathdemon well in that case let us continue
taurius1 there's only one reason we're doing this
taurius1 it's because you.
Hito you hate me
krystal-chan arre na
krystal-chan we lurve ou chweeto-chan
taurius1 we love you so much
deathdemon awww don be so gloomy kawaii-chyan
krystal-chan ne minna?
krystal-chan sprinkles glitter over Chweeto-chan's hair
taurius1 Hito, if i had your number, you know what im gonna be setting as my ringtone now, don't you?
Hito I thought it was over
krystal-chan now you're kawaii and Sparkly
krystal-chan you're uber cute!
Hito this is not funny anymore
taurius1 i can just imagine a sulking hito
deathdemon sho shweeeeeeeet
taurius1 dressed in a pink baby dress
taurius1 and bunny slippers
krystal-chan with glitter
taurius1 with a pink ribon
<- deathdemon was kicked from animestan by Legato (Reason: Turn caps lock OFF!)
-> deathdemon has joined animestan
Legato sets user mode +v: deathdemon may now speak if the room is moderated
Hito you people are SICK!!
taurius1 and us running around in circles around him
taurius1 throwing giltter in the air
Hito what in the HELL!!
deathdemon us running around in circles...?
taurius1 its a perfect anime scene!
krystal-chan that is sooooo sweet
taurius1 runnig aroud him
taurius1 throwin glitter around from our glitter bags
taurius1 celebrating his cuteness
Hito I have died
krystal-chan oh damn
krystal-chan i gtg
taurius1 good night, krys
<- Ryu has disconnected (Quit: .•«UPP»•.)
taurius1 have fun
deathdemon aww man
krystal-chan night night
deathdemon and it was just getting fun
krystal-chan i will
deathdemon night amy
krystal-chan night dd
taurius1 wipes tear from eye
krystal-chan night hito-chan, ma kawaii angel
Hito yea nite u hag
krystal-chan laughs evilly
deathdemon joins in
<- krystal-chan has disconnected (Quit: )
<- deathdemon was kicked from animestan by Legato (Reason: Turn caps lock OFF!)
-> deathdemon has joined animestan
Legato sets user mode +v: deathdemon may now speak if the room is moderated
deathdemon not had that much fun for quite a while
taurius1 @ DD no?
Hito it was not fun
taurius1 i have fun like this all the time
deathdemon aww dont worry cutey-chan
deathdemon we'll put more glitter on u tomorrow
Hito dude pls dont call me that
deathdemon once amy's back
deathdemon hehe aight hito sry
Hito It distrubs me very much
taurius1 this is going on me blog ^_^
Disclaimer: The only girl to ever appear in this conversation is krystal-chan. Hito's case is still being considered.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Countless hour spent doing stuff with people that you'd really not rather do, given any other circumstances... All those times spent idly doing what everyone else is doing, not coz you enjoy it, but coz you have nothing better to do... might sound pathetic, but that's how it usually always is. People might not admit it, but most of then do stuff only coz everyone else is doing it. >_<
It's hard finding someone who matches your wavelength. It's even tougher to hold onto them. Most people don't know a good thing when they have it. Sometimes, even I don't. :( I can't even begin to count the number of times I've lost touch with some awesome friends coz one (or both) of up was too lazy to keep in touch. :( I'm seeing the effects of that now. Losing contact with most of my school friends has made me realise that it takes years to forge good relationships. Even when two people "click", they're still gonna take quite a bit of time to trust each other completely. As far as I know, there's only two things that can bring two people closer together... time and traumatising experiences. So I guess the next time I wanna get a girl to like me, I either spend all my waking hours with her. Or we jump off a cliff together. ^_^ *sigh* If only things were just as simple. :(
I should be studying more and thinking less about my friends now, my parents say. What they say does make sense. But I've grown up valuing companionship. There's nothing more fulfilling that the feeling of knowing someone's there to comfort you and share your life with you... The good times and the bad. I guess that's how I'd define my crushes. Any time I start romantically liking someone, I start imagining myself doing stuff with them... Going for long driver together, swimming in the ocean before the sun sets. Walking down the beach in the moonlight. Eating marshmallow in a blanket in front of a warm fire. Long phone conversations going on well into the night. Singing our favorite songs together in our off key voices. :P
I keep thinking of this one song... It's called "Someone".
The lyrics go like,
"Someone to hold you tight,
someone to make you feel alright.
Every day and night,
I wish I was your someone..."
Sweet, isn't it? Makes me wonder if everyone thinks that way when they like someone. I do. ^_^
Thursday, April 12, 2007
There's something inside all of us that makes us want to chase something evil. Simply coz it's evil. Whether they admit it to themselves or not, everyone has some habit or qruik about them that's there simply coz it's supposedly evil or shocking. I can stay away from sex. IMO, it's overrated. And yes, I'm don't have a one sided perspective on it, so bugger off with your morals and go look at something shiny or something.
(Wait... does this sex mean anything sexual, or good old fashioned coitus? hmm...)
The Drugs I've totally stayed away from all this while. I have always wondered what it would feel like... But never been curious enough to actually try anything... illegal. Maybe I'll work my way up to it sometime. What I DO have, is caffiene. I'm addicted to espressos. Maybe not addicted like I'm-gonna-shrivel-up-and-have-seizures-if-i-dont-have-caffiene addicted, but I certainly enjoy the boost I get. I don't get tired, I don't fall asleep, and best of all, my mind goes into overdrive. I've thought of amazing vistas and mind blowing travel sequences when I'm high on coffee alone... A certain ex of mine once said to me... "If you're like this when you're "normal".. I wonder what you'll see when you have LSD." Hehe. I'm wondering too!!
The rock and roll... Meant to signify the music of the new generation.. the music that the parents hate... Every kid has it... I do too. But I've never restricted myself to new age stuff... I enjoy psychedelic trance as much as I do Beethoven and Motzart. That, some people say, has to be the biggest paradox they've heard of. I say that those people can't appreciate music like it's meant to be. It takes a certain "thing" in the music to be pleasant. I've found good music in jazz, psy trance, classics, classic rock n'roll, modern rock n' roll, metal, electronica, afro chants.... :) Maybe I'm just a music whore, but I enjoy music a lot. There's a reason I always have some music playing in the background as often as possible in my life.
I am what I am, and I love what I am. There's sometimes some people tell me to change. I tried listening once. Disaterous results. I hated myself. I'm back to myself now. :) It's nice being able to talk about hyperactive chihuahuas again and not worry that people think I'm wierd. They all know it by now, I guess. :P But seriously... If there's anything I'd dread to be, ever, is to be normal. Normal is boring. That's been the one directive by which I've lived my life.
Fitting in has long stopped bothering me. I mean I don't wonder how to fit in any more. Although, that hasn't stopped my from worrying about that fact that I don't. *sigh* Guess I'm always gonna crave companionship in a place filled with people who think differently. It's not too bad. Different is good. But only as long as people have an open mind to different.
Another thing that bothers me is my weight. Well... not my weight. More like how I look. I wanna get rid of the awesomely huge tyre blessing my waist. It'll happen, I know it.. eventually... I've managed to lose my weight steadily, and comfortably. :)
Another things that bothers me is my inability to sort my feelings out about the girls I have crushes on. Having more than one girl in my life who I like is a rather novel situation for me... OR maybe I'm just messed up with my feelings again. It's an enjoyable ride, I'm sure I'm gonna laugh about as I reflect on later in my day. I've thought about why I can't convince myself that there could be happiness after confessing my feelings to the girl in question. I think it'll be wierd between us after that. I think that even if we did give it a shot, it won't work out. I think that everyone else is gonna keep teasing me about it. I think that I don't have what it takes to keep the relationship exciting enough for her. I think that it'll take an exceptionally accomodating and understanding girl to actually stay with me. Me, being as pig headed as I am, will not change myself too much for her. Well... actually I will... but that's only when I'm in a relationship. If I'm commited to someone... even if its for a week, I pull no stops to make our time together as amazing as possible. But I wont be changing unless I'm secure enough about what the girl thinks about me. I think that my idea of amazing and her idea of amazing might be different. I think that I prioritize relationships way too much, much more than her. I think I never have a nice enough opportunity to tell her anything about how I feel. I think that I shall probably never even have that kind of opportunity, simply coz there's no way to isolate myself with her. I think I'm just looking for excuses to keep myself from facing rejection again.
I'm not afraid of being reejcted... or am I?? I hold what I am, and who I am very dear and a rejection of that kinda translates into a rejection of my morals and values, and I guess that kind of a sentence comeing from someone who I've managed to like so much would be too crippling... maybe.. I dunno.
At the end of the day, I always tell myself that I have a great bunch of friends, and it is by no means necessary for me to be in a romantic relationship with any girl, atleast not yet, atleast not when she shows no signs of wanting the same...
So I keep telling myself...
Awww... who am I kidding? The only thing that goes on in my mind all the time is how she laughs, and how cute it looks, and how often the person making her laugh usually isnt me.
I've realised that all the notions of how things work in college are VERY different here in thakur. I'm gonna have to do some major reorganizing of my ideas sometime. Until then, I think I'll just sit back and admire the beauty from afar. :)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
This was what I heard last night, while I was completing my assignments. I've realised that I have an awesome music collection. :) 24 GB isn't a bad collection, is it? :)
Marilyn Manson - Angel with Scabbed Wings
Foo Fighters - Superman
Coldplay - Speed of Sound
Rabbit In The Moon - (Delerium) Euphoria (Divine Gothic Disco Mix)
Frank Sinatra - New York, New York
22 - How To Recognize Different Parts Of The Body.avi
U2 - Until The End Of The World
Kylie Minogue -in your eyes
Coldplay - A Whisper
Paul Van Dyk - Nothing But You (Club Mix)
No Doubt - Hella Good
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Unkown - Try it baby
Evanescence - Lithium
Justine -I Love You (Remix)
Led zeppelin - Achilles last stand
Gwyneth Paltrow & Huey Lewis - Cruising Together
American Beauty - Main Theme
James Blunt- Cry